Karen’s Legacy

I was given the honor of reading a letter at the celebration of life service for my dear friend, Karen Alexander-Doyel. She wrote it to her three boys to encourage them to see her heart for them, and for Christ. She wanted them, and those attending her funeral, to know how much she loved the Lord, and how much God entrusted to her in this ordained, though not always easy, life journey.

I have been given permission from Karen’s boys to share “Mom’s letter to her boys” here (and these are her exact words from that letter):

“As I sit here tonight, I have so much to be grateful for. I could name my blessings for the rest of the night. I feel that for some unknown reason our God looked at me and said, “I really love that girl, I am going to bless her socks off!” And He has!

Each trial has been felt as special attention from my Father in Heaven. He ordained difficult circumstances just so He and I could spend time together. He has held me in His arms more times than I can count. He has listened to my heart break and tenderly mended it back stronger than ever. My Father has let my tears drop on Him and has held them as though they were treasures. How can I explain such an incredible love? How can I tell you the joy that I have because of the sweet way our God has entered into my life and taken over?

If I would have known in advance, I am sure I would have had suggestions for Him. I can hear me telling Him that I cannot do it, I don’t want to do it or even that I refuse to do it! I certainly would have been fearful as my trust and faith in Him had to grow through each difficult time.

The most incredible gift has been my Jesus and His forgiveness. Oh family, what a mess up I have been. I have made some horrible mistakes. Some you have seen. Some have affected you, some I pray you will never know about. The thing is…I am completely, totally forgiven! Can you believe it? It is so amazing that I am covered, righteous, blameless and unconditionally loved by the God who made the Heavens and the earth!!! How can I express my gratitude? What words can express the fullness of joy, happiness, peace that comes with the blood of our precious Jesus. Forgiven and allowed to serve our Risen Lord – it is difficult to fathom, but it is true – He is real, alive and everything to me! When I speak of Him, my heart races, my energy rises, my entire physical being seems to sing…. Teaching His Word, speaking His Name, what an honor and thrill. I could go on if I had the words, but you get the point, don’t you?

Now, let’s talk about the gratitude I have for 3 sons that God loaned me and showered His love on me through each of you for the past 40 some years. What expression can I use to relay to you the love you have given me and the love I have for you? You have honored your dad and I in the most important way and that is your love for Jesus and living your lives for Him. That is the desire of my heart and you have fulfilled that desire. I love you, I love you, I love you!

You not only give me joy just because you are my sons, but you are my support, my faithful prayer warriors, my wise counselors and sweet listeners. After I go to Jesus, the three of you are my next “go to” for any problem or decision. What a gift that is to me.

How about the laughter in our home? Your dad taught you fun, joy and lots of laughter and you learned well. You make me laugh! Thank you for that, it is healing to my soul.

The sweet gift of your wives in my life is another one of those blessing that has brought so much fulfillment day after day. You chose wives who love Jesus, they love each of you (which was a must for me) You chose wives that have loved me more than I ever dreamed and they have allowed me in their lives with open arms- I am so blessed and grateful.

Grandchildren! Need I say more? Blessed times 6! Blessed, grateful, complete. Thank you for sharing the most wonderful babies in the world with me!

Grateful….you welcomed Jim into our family and made him a part of our craziness. He could never replace your dad and I am grateful you did not make him feel like he needed to.

Grateful…We will be together -forever. Jesus loves me- this I truly know!”

What a mom, what a wife, what a daughter, what a friend she has been to so many of us. But most of all she loved Jesus. She taught me more about faith than just about anyone else, because she modeled it so well. 

I met Karen about 40 years ago in Tyler, Texas, when our children were just toddlers. We attended a women’s Bible study, as we were trying to figure out how to be godly moms. She and her husband Doug moved and we lost touch, for the most part, until our family moved to Nashville for me to serve at Lifeway in 1994. Because of women’s ministry, we reconnected. Eventually, she became a trainer for us on our LifeWay women’s training team to train women’s ministry leaders and ministry wives across the country.

When she found out she probably had cancer, she was at LifeWay Ridgecrest Conference Center to teach with me. When she told me she had a tumor, I looked at her so shocked and said, “what in the world are you doing here?” As always, she put her commitment to serve Jesus above even her own health. She said she’d deal with it when she got home, and after her son Stephen celebrated his final chemo treatment.

These last few months, another friend and I stayed in touch almost daily with Karen through a group text. When her pain was so great she couldn’t sleep, she would pray for others, including me and my family. Karen always said that although this was a  hard struggle to endure, she had grown so much closer to the Lord and, therefore, it was worth it all. She said “she was called” to cancer for this season, and that call took her to places with Christ that she never regretted going.

Her name is written in my Bible by three passages, although I could add many others to the list. These three as particularly special because when I read them, I see Karen clearly:  

Acts 4:20 Peter & John proclaimed–“…for we are unable to stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.” Karen couldn’t stop speaking about Jesus, even if she’d wanted to because she loved Him so. 

An other passage where I wrote her name was in Colossians 4:2-4, where Paul was asking believers to pray for him to have an open door to share the Gospel even in the hardship of his being in prison: 

“Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us that God may open a door to us for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains, so that I may make it known as I should. Act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.”

She lived this out by asking for prayers for her to have the right words to witness to others about Jesus. When she was so sick, she’d have us pray for strength to go and teach women on the weekend, even though she would often leave town sick. When she struggled with laryngitis, we would pray for God to give her a voice to share His message, then she would return home sick again and go to bed for a few days. In between trips and recovery, Karen would love on and invest in her family and especially her grandchildren. Then she would repeat this again and again. And at her sickest, in the hospital, when I would ask her how can we pray specifically, her prayer was always for others. She would say things like, “Please pray I get to talk to that doctor who came into my room recently…I’m not sure he’s a believer and I want to share the Gospel with him.”

The third passage where I’ve written Karen’s name is in Psalms. The verse talks about the Valley of Baca. Baca comes from the Hebrew term baka’, which means “to weep.” The joyful tears of the Israelite pilgrims “transformed the source of sadness and grief into a spring of blessing, just as the early rains of autumn restored water to the valley.” (CSB Study Bible)

Psalm 84:6 says, “As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a source of spring water; even the autumn rain will cover it with blessings. They go from strength to strength; each appears before God in Zion.”

She has passed through her valley of weeping, and made it a source of joy by the way she lived and loved her Lord. She went from His strength to His strength, so faithfully.

God entrusted her with more loss and pain than most of us will ever experience, although I’m sure many of you fully understand great, great pain and loss. But her faith was unwavering in the midst of her greatest difficulties. She said these were things God had entrusted to her.  She modeled beautifully Romans 8:28-29: For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose, and those He foreknew He predestined to be conformed to the image of His son. 

Karen used the struggles to become more like Christ. God left her here, longer than many of us expected, to accomplish His work, but He took her long before we were ready. Now, she’s healed, fully, completely, and for eternity.

Steve Estes once said to quadriplegic Joni E. Tada : “God sometimes permits what he hates to accomplish what he loves,” a platform for the Gospel. Karen’s walk through trials brought fruit to so many through salvation and through the strengthening of their faith.

After I got a message from Karen’s son that she was in the arms of Jesus, I looked back at her last text to my friend and me. After not getting a response from her for several days, we finally received a text. It was so typical of Karen: “He draws me. I love Him.”

Psalm 17:15 says, I will see your face in righteousness. When I wake I will be satisfied with your presence.” I believe she is satisfied, right now, with His presence. But she’s not in His presence for anything she’s done. It’s because of what Jesus did, and because she had a saving relationship with Him. Now I believe she’s among the cloud of witnesses we see in Hebrews 12, having finished her race, cheering us on to complete ours as well, just as we saw Karen finish hers.

I’m forever grateful God brought Karen into my life. I will miss her, but not as much as her husband Jim, mother Polly, sons John, Stephen and Mark, and their families. And I know many of you reading this knew her and are grateful for her life and her love as we all are. She will be missed by all, but she’s at home, at rest and we can rejoice with her about that!