Reconciliation Joy

In my chronological Bible reading this year, I just read again the story of Jacob and Esau in Genesis 33. I love when Jacob and Esau reconciled and saw each other again for the first time in many years and Jacob said, “For indeed, I have seen your face, and it is like seeing God’s face, since you have accepted me.” (Genesis 33:10)

Jacob deceived both Esau and their father Isaac (you can read all about that in Genesis 25 and 27). And that meant he had to hightail it out of town to avoid Esau’s anger. Now after years apart, they reconnected and it was sweet. At least in that moment. (I’m still not sure Jacob really trusted Esau fully, but then healing takes time.)

Have you ever had a broken relationship that felt hopeless. Maybe you prayed for years for a healing and yet it didn’t come. But if it did, did you also feel as though you had seen the face of God? I felt just this way when our daughter returned after years of wandering away from our family. My husband and I had prayed so long and when I finally saw her again after 8 years, I felt God’s smile and healing in our relationship. Oh, full healing didn’t happen overnight, but the journey began that day. I felt I’d seen not only our daughter’s face but God’s as well. I remembered this experience when I read Genesis 33:10!

My husband and I just celebrated 48 years of marriage and it was a nostalgic day this year for some reason. We even got out our wedding book and read through it all!

But I really love the card he gave me this year:

Love IS a choice. Early in any relationship there may be great joy and excitement, but then the new wears off and you really get to know each other honestly. You find out they aren’t perfect…and neither are we! If we only base our affections on how we “feel”, most of our relationships would end very quickly. That is when we choose to love those who are hard to love rather than walk away from the relationship when it gets hard.

Do you remember the old movie, Love Story? The most famous line in the movie was, “Love means never having to say you are sorry.” Everyone thought that was so sweet….but it’s SO wrong! Imagine being married 48 years and never apologizing to your spouse for less than kind actions! Imagine never asking your parent or your child to forgive you for thoughtlessness. Imagine having a close friend that you get into a dispute with and you just walk away…forever.

I cannot even begin to tell you how many times my man and I have had to CHOOSE to love even when it was not “perfect” like we thought it would always be. How many times we have had to say “I’m sorry”. And not always because we “felt” like it…we chose to do it because we valued the relationship and were committed to it.

Any strong relationship involves choosing to love, asking forgiveness, and seeing God work in and through imperfect people to bring reconciliation even after the greatest of hurts and betrayals, even after years of separation. And when it happens, it’s like seeing the face of God as you watch Him bring healing, trust and joy back into your relationship.

And because I’ve experienced “seeing God’s face” in reconciliation, I can look with expectancy for the same thing to happen in the next relationship rift!

Are you experiencing a break in a relationship? Do you long for reconciliation? Not all relationships can be salvaged, but there can be forgiveness even if the closeness cannot be fully restored. Pray to see God’s face as you seek healing in the tough relational situation you are facing. Ask Him to shower joy into your heart as you wait. Then rejoice as He works, even if it takes years. Choose to love even if the closeness of the relationship ends.

Banner photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash