Bitter Grip: The Cost of Unforgiveness

Have you ever thought, I just cannot forgive that person? The pain they caused feels too big, too evil. Forgiving them seems impossible. Does God really expect us to forgive in such cases?

Charles Swindoll said…

He’s right. When we refuse to forgive, we suffer more than they do. The person who hurt you may be unaware of your feelings, but you carry the burden every day. You have a right to be angry, but you don’t have to carry that weight.

Hebrews 12:14-15 warns:

Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord. Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and defiling many.

But how do you pursue peace with someone who won’t admit their wrong? Harboring anger keeps us bound and unsettled. We aren’t at peace until we decide our next steps.

I’ve learned that God’s grace has covered my sins completely. Because He loves me unconditionally, I get to experience His grace every day. I’ve asked the Lord to help me “just love with no expectations” those who have hurt me. When I expect certain responses from others, I’m often disappointed.

Is this easy? Does it excuse their behavior? Does it mean you’ll have a close relationship with them? Not at all.

What it does bring is peace. It takes the burden off your heart. It may not be constant, but you can return to that peace by reminding yourself of God’s grace and choosing to “just love them with no expectations.”

Lord, who have I not forgiven? Help me extend the same grace you have given to me.

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